Have you ever been the lucky recipient of a recycled gift? No? Then you might have been given with some guile and are consequently in the dark.
Here is your chance to wise up, with The Gift Experience’s lighthearted guide to Recognising Recycled Gifts.
Beware the gift that is past its sell-by date
This is a dead giveaway. Chocolate Gifts are a case in point. If yours look about as delicious as a dishcloth (used), or if they have been dusted with a light coating of natural MOULD, as opposed to icing sugar, then chances are they are the genuine recycled article!
The Paris Hilton Perfume syndrome
When we at The Gift Experience carried out a recent survey on recycled gifts, someone reported they were the lucky recipient of an (opened) bottle of Paris Hilton perfume. Perhaps the person giving the gift had decided the smell was not, in the words of Ms Hilton ‘hot’ – or that Ms Hilton was just too annoying to for words.
In fact, when it comes to toiletries, our survey said this category of gift is the most likely to be recycled. So next time you give that maiden aunt that lovely box of Bromley smellies, think again. They could end up at a jumble sale, or, much worse, in your stockings, come next Christmas!
The nose hair clippers
One unfortunate person completing said survey recalled the time when he was given nose hair clippers. He was just sweet 16 at the time.
Unless he was a 16 year-old gorilla – who can fill in an online survey – we reckon this gift was a little previous.
Great Uncle Bulgaria, maybe. Freshfaced 16 year-old who has never been shaved, never mind kissed? Never!
The set of gloopy nail polishes
If that unnervingly old-hat palette of nail colours proves thick enough to fix dentures (permanently), then rest assured, your gift is recycled.
However, there is still hope. Add a little nail polish remover and your nail polish will be as good as nearly new.
The Sooo Obviously-out-of-Season gift (OOOS)
Take the Christmas coffee gift set as a case in point – for a birthday present in July!
Indeed, any birthday that falls in any month other than December should not include a gift with even a smattering of Yuletideness.
Other OOOS gifts include out of date, or the-year-is-half-way-gone-already Calendars and Diaries. ‘Nuf said!
The Quite Clearly Second Hand Jumper
Especially if tinged with the faintest aroma of ... is that sweat? Nooooooooooo!
Beware: clothes are often recycled as gifts. Right fit? You’re laughing.
The not-quite-antique wedding gift
One survey respondee reported receiving a cruet set that was about 40 years old. Blimey! Had the giver left it another 60 years, it would have been classed as an antique.
The evidence-is-staring-you-in-the-face recycled gift
Picture the scene: you open your Christmas present from the mother-in-law from hell – to reveal a shoe bag.
The very same shoe bag you saw her receive last Christmas!
The moral of this tragic little tale? Don’t supply hard evidence of your recycled gift activity. Ever, ever, ever.
Other dead giveaways on the recycled gift front include the original wrapping still hugging to the contours of your (obviously recycled) pressie, the scented candle which has obviously been lit (usuaklly accompanied by a disgusting smell), the (used) bottle of body lotion (scurvy-free is a bonus), the jigsaw puzzle with the missing bit(s), the fondue set (that’s what they said!), the dusty notelets, circa 1970 ... the list goes on.
Get the drift?